Perhaps it's that I'm getting older and that the time past and distance travelled begins to create mirages in my mind. Maybe it's because I want to reconnect with a younger me. It may well be that upon reflection the grey was greater than the balck and white. It may be pure self indulgence and selfishness on my part.
Whatever it is, I found myself wanting to know how some of them were.
People from the past. Colleagues, friends, girlfriends, students, teachers, classmates.
It may be that I have romanticised much of the past, or at the very least re-edited it in my mind. EIther way, I began to wonder what I would say to any number of them. It's not that I'm dying and need to get stuff off my chest or anything like that, but sorry was a word that came to mind for some. For others it was thank you. There were still others where I'm not sure what I would want to say much, except perhaps either to hear how they are and appreciate them again.
The fact of the matter is that I just miss some of them.
Friends who have meant so much who over the course of time have become distant -still treasured but less familiar. Some of this is down to the stages of life we find ourselves in. Part of it is down to the immediacy of location other times it is lazyness. For many of them it isn't that at some moment there was a decision to stop being friends, it's more that a week became a month, became a year, became.....
Teachers who informed my thinking, helped shape my values, who invested in me and believed in me even when I didn't. Some of them were giants in my life- and I am more thankful for them than I could ever put into words.
Thinking back over romantic relationships that I had in the past I suppose age anables me to see things differently. To gain perspective. Maybe I was more to blame than they were. In some cases no-one was really to blame it just didn't work out- they were really nice people and somehow that got forgotten.
Remembering former students who still hold a treasured place in my heart- who made me laugh, who made me proud, and wondering how their journey has continued once they took their place in the yearbook as a member of the class of....
This is all beginning to sound rather morose, but if you are out there, and you happen to read this- thank you.
Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for the part of yourelf that you brought and thank you for the part of you you left with me.
I am all the richer becasue of you.
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